On Christmas Eve, Elena will go midnight Mass. Her daughter, dressed in a crimson velvet jumper with a scratchy lace collar that she hates, will fall asleep in her arms. She'll listen to the organ and sing the hymns and wonder if she's made a mistake by joining the FBI. She still feels like an outsider; they don't seem to like her very much.
There are undercurrents in the office that she's slowly beginning to navigate. She hears that Jack is going through a bitter divorce and knows that he recently lost his father. Samantha seems okay but there's a strained vibe between her and Martin—Elena suspects they may have been lovers. Danny stays away from her most of the time, but he's not the Danny she remembers. He's edgier now, and seems to watch Martin a lot when he thinks no one is looking. She assumes it has to do with the ambush they were caught in—something like that would tend to mess you up.
The only one who's been friendly is Vivian, but she has the feeling that Vivian is just waiting for Elena to get fed up and move on.
Elena isn't too sure she isn't already there.
Vivian will have a houseful of relatives. Her mother-in-law will insist on doing everything, referring to Vivian's "condition" as her excuse. Vivian will remind her that she's back to full duty on a very demanding job but give it up after a few tries.
Reggie will be thrilled to get the Xbox he wanted. Vivian will ooh and aah over the tiny diamond stud earrings Marcus hands her so proudly. She already knows how much he paid for them and has adjusted the family budget in her head to compensate. The two of them will steal a moment in the kitchen—they'll both reach for something and their hands will brush together. Marcus will back off and Vivian will give him one of her sleepy-eyed smiles that invites his kiss.
After the company leaves she'll sit down with a cup of tea and look at the cards and presents from work. As usual, Jack had done gift certificates; she'll use hers to buy Reggie yet another pair of sneakers. Martin had handed out plates of Christmas candy made by his mom, apologizing sheepishly that he wasn't up to shopping this year. She's concerned about him but can't put her finger on why.
Danny always takes great pride in giving something odd and as Vivian reads the instructions for her Chia Bunny, she realizes it could've been worse—Jack is the proud recipient of a Chia Homer Simpson. Sam tossed around envelopes with Starbucks cards inside as she'd dashed out the door, on her way to a party she'd been talking about all week. It's the least thought-out and most useful gift given by any of them.
Later, lulled by the comforting sound of Marcus snoring beside her, Vivian will wonder and worry about Jack.
Jack will fly to Chicago. He'll stay in an overpriced hotel and negotiate with Maria to get time with his daughters. Hannah will let slip that Mom has a boyfriend and he's taking them to Florida for New Year's. Jack will confront Maria and they'll have a fight, careful to keep their voices down so the kids won't hear. He'll storm off and head to the hotel bar, his chest tight and hands shaking as he downs straight Dewar's at an impressive rate while It's A Wonderful Life plays on the bar TV.
He wants to be home but he doesn't know where home is. It's certainly not Chicago and the sterile environment of his hotel room. It's not his apartment where he has yet to unpack anything personal. It may have been his father's place, where at least he could sit among objects and smells he'd known all his life, but now it's packed up, too.
He knows he'll think up an excuse to head back to New York early. He knows the girls won't be too disappointed—after all, he can't compete with Disney World and he knows it. He'll fly home and sit in his apartment and think about the last few years as he drinks alone again. He'll be misty-eyed and grateful that Viv's okay and wonder if bringing on Elena was a mistake. He'll hope that Danny is getting back to his studies but he doubts it—Danny hasn't been right since Martin's shooting. As for Martin—he thinks maybe Martin is finally starting to catch on to what Danny has been trying so hard to hide since the ambush.
And Sam. He tries not to think of her too much, because thinking turns to remembering, and remembering turns to wishing for things he can't ever have again.
Sam will go to a party. She'll wear a dress that's just shy of indecent and she'll drink too much and flirt too hard. She'll meet a man and take him home and sleep with him because he has Martin's eyes and Jack's hands. She'll awaken with a stranger in her bed and as she pushes the hair out of her eyes, she'll admit she's still fucked up.
She'll get rid of him as soon as possible and when the phone rings later it's her mom. After a few pleasantries her mom will ask if she's seeing anyone and Sam will snap at her, explaining once again that she's too busy with her career. She won't confess that Martin dumped her and that she's more upset that Jack has gone to Chicago to see his ex-wife, because she never told her mom about either of them.
She'll call all her friends and wish them Merry Christmas and listen as they go on about their husbands and their kids. They'll ask about her job, thinking its glamorous, and she'll tell sanitized stories and admit that no, there's no one special in her life. They never knew about Jack or Martin, either.
Eventually she'll get dressed and dust off a bottle of wine she was given two years ago and go to another friend's house for Christmas dinner. She'll be reminded of what a home in the suburbs feels like and she'll think of what she does for a living and the emptiness inside her will subside for a while.
And she'll wonder when Jack's coming back from Chicago.
Martin will go to D.C. but would prefer to be at his cousin's house. His mother will fuss over him and attempt to find out why he broke up with Sam. He can't tell her that Sam was a mistake, that Sam was a substitute. He can't tell her how glad he ultimately felt when she refused to commit to a relationship he'd tried so hard to believe he wanted.
His dad will try and talk him into leaving the missing persons unit. Martin will listen silently and then consider saying he's been called back for a case, but his father could find out the truth too easily.
He'll portion out the last of his painkillers and wonder what he's going to do when the prescription runs out.
He'll sneak away to his old bedroom and sit on his bed, his football trophies tarnishing on the shelves above him, and think about the night he got shot. He'll remember his fingers clenching around the steering wheel as he asks Danny if he wants to grab a bite after they drop off Teno. He'll feel the same flutter in his belly when he recalls how Danny's eyes had lit up with an immediate yes.
He'll try to forget the anguish that has lingered in Danny's eyes ever since.
When his mom calls up to say that dinner's ready, he'll be staring at the cell phone in his hand, the number already listed, wondering if he has the guts to press the button.
Danny will spend Christmas with Sylvia and Nickie. Their apartment will be decked out with decorations from the dollar store and the nice gifts he brings them will look out of place and make Sylvia uncomfortable. Conversation with her will be stilted and centered mostly around Rafi's upcoming trial.
Sylvia will make dishes that remind him of his childhood and when Nickie accidentally spills a glass of milk it's all he can do to remain in his chair as Sylvia mops up the mess. There will be a neighboring family that argues loudly in Spanish but he seems to be the only one who notices.
When Nickie has gone to bed and Sylvia is making coffee in the kitchen, he'll part the cheap curtains and look out into the sleet-soaked darkness and think of other dark nights. A shiver will crawl up his spine when he remembers a dank rooftop and Martin pretending he's okay when they both know he isn't.
When his cell phone rings, he'll feel disproportionately relieved. Thinking it's a case that needs his attention, his heart will trip faster when he sees the name listed there. He'll excuse himself and step out into the hallway, wrinkling his nose at the odor of cabbage and cats. His eyes will close at the sound of Martin's voice, uncharacteristically soft with diffidence and hope. He'll answer back just as quietly, both of them moving into a space of peaceful inevitability that has been too long in coming. There's no teasing but they know that particular foundation of their friendship is not lost, only waiting to be resumed on a far more intimate level.
The conversation will end reluctantly when Sylvia calls Danny back into the apartment for coffee and cake. He'll ask for the cake—a large piece, maybe two—to go and see if he can borrow a mug for the coffee. Sylvia will look annoyed but find a commuter mug that will work as she grouses about the FBI pulling agents away from their families to drive all night in bad weather to Washington.
Danny will leave her with a peck on her cheek and she'll hand him a plastic-wrapped paper plate with enough Mexican Chocolate cake to last him a few days. He'll give her his first real smile of the night and hurry down to his ice-encrusted car, thankful he doesn't need to stop for gas.
And later, after he's kissed Martin's freshest scars, they'll make love and then share the cake amidst the rumpled sheets of a pricey Georgetown hotel. Afterwards, Martin will whisper a sleepy Merry Christmas into Danny's mouth, kiss him gently and lay his head down next to Danny's on the same pillow.
On Tuesday, Elena will begin the first draft of her request for a transfer.
Vivian will watch Danny and Martin and Jack and Sam and begin to lay out pieces of information in her head like a puzzle.
Jack will spend most of the morning on the phone talking to Maria.
Sam will accept a dinner date with the guy she slept with and try to avoid Jack.
And Martin and Danny will be late.
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