He was being seduced.
There was no other way to describe it, really.
Seduced by the idea that not all empathic contact had to hurt, even though he knew it always did. Seduced by long, lazy afternoons spent with a book among the cherry trees and the seemingly endless sunshine of Meifu. Seduced by the idea that he could have a friend who accepted him exactly as he was and wasn't going to try to make him change.
Seduced by kindness.
Since their first case, the only emotions he'd felt radiating from Tsuzuki were excitement over the latest dessert, sorrow for the next dying person they'd tracked down, and hope that maybe this time he'd fall in with Tsuzuki's plans for overindulging in sugar the next time they had a day off.
Not once in six months had he felt anger towards himself coming from his partner, no matter how often he snapped in response to Tsuzuki's antics.
It was very disconcerting.
He wondered when the other shoe was going to drop.
"Hi-so-ka!"
He closed his eyes and focused intently on the spell Konoe-san had taught him. He'd been working on it all day, seated on the soft grass out here away from the others, trying to make it come to mind as quickly and easily as Tsuzuki grabbed his ofuda or called Suzaku.
But his concentration was ripped to shreds as Tsuzuki bounded up close beside him, disturbing the air with his exuberance, sending it dancing into currents that buffeted Hisoka like miniature storms.
Waves of happiness washed over him: Tsuzuki was glad to have found him so easily and was wondering if perhaps today he would consent to stop at a pastry shop before they went to work on their next case.
"What?" He couldn't quite help the frown as he looked up at Tsuzuki—he thought he'd just grasped what the chief had been trying to teach him about the feeling of the spell all morning—but he immediately felt guilty as Tsuzuki's expression changed at his abrupt tone, reminding him of a kicked puppy.
Before he could say anything else, Tsuzuki made himself smile and continued as if he'd never been interrupted. "What have you been doing out here by yourself all afternoon?"
"Working."
"On what?"
"The reibaku spell the chief taught me this morning."
"Wow! Can you really do it already?"
He hesitated, debating the merits of ignoring Tsuzuki or just telling him what he wanted to know in the hopes that Tsuzuki would go away and leave him in peace again. "Not yet."
"You'll get it eventually. Just keep practicing!"
"I was, until you interrupted." Sometimes he just couldn't control it, this need to hurt before he was hurt. But even more incomprehensible was the fact that Tsuzuki never got angry in response. He didn't understand it.
He didn't understand Tsuzuki.
Why this seduction of smiles?
He watched as the smile on Tsuzuki's face dimmed before continuing. "Did you come out here for a reason?"
"We have a new case."
"When do we leave?"
"Now. The girl has been dying a long time." Waves of sorrow were radiating from Tsuzuki, and Hisoka could see flashes of Tsuzuki's memory of the slides Tatsumi-san had shown: a young girl dancing while her brother looked on, then another picture of the same girl, frail and beaten down by her illness. Beaten down by her solitude.
I wonder if Tsuzuki has ever felt that way.
"All right." He stood up, brushing the grass from his jeans before he looked at Tsuzuki again. His partner's face was pensive as he looked out over the small pond, but Tsuzuki's emotions gave no hint of his thoughts.
He felt curiously bereft.
"We can stop at that new pastry shop, if you want." His voice sounded almost surly to his ears.
The excitement that suddenly came from Tsuzuki nearly knocked him over. "Hisoka! You do have a sweet tooth!"
"I do not. I just want to make sure you're concentrating on the case." He frowned again. He just couldn't understand Tsuzuki's emotions some days—how could he be so depressed one minute and so joyful the next?
It made his head hurt.
Tsuzuki was staring at him again, head cocked to the side with a puzzled look on his face. It made him uncomfortable. But Tsuzuki shook it off and his excitement at the thought of pastries returned. "Last one there has to pay!"
Tsuzuki vanished, leaving Hisoka alone again in the cherry grove.
Well, there goes this week's food allowance, he thought, before following his partner back down to the land of the living.
I have to point out that having the titles of the first two stories in this series start with an "s" was pure happenstance, but I decided to go with the flow and continue trying to come up with single s-word titles for the rest of the stories in the series. Stupid reasoning, I know, but there it is. We'll see if I'm successful. *g*
Feedback: email.